TSA Agent: Please remove your shoes and place all belongings on the conveyor belt. Make sure you have your boarding pass and ID out and ready, and all sandwiches must be rendered to me [record scratch!]. Ah, I’m just joshin’ ya.
Me: Yes, well, ha-ha. This is my sandwich.
Agent: That’s a good idea. I wish my wife would make me one, ha-ha.
Me: Yes, this is pretty much exactly how funny I expected the security checkpoint to be.
I got my sandwich through intact.
Pretty sure that David Lynch is actually Snow White.
"i don’t get this whole foot popping thing who the fuck has their foot pop when they kiss i think that’s a sign of a torn ligament"
My girlfriend, on “The Princess Diaries”. This is basically why we’re dating